Kamahl's Desire: To Not Be a Pussy
                If you had to pick someone from Odyssey to back you up in a fight, who would you want? I'm thinking one of the first people you'd pick would be Kamahl, Pit Fighter. After all, he's a walking, talking Lightning Bolt, he's got Haste, and he can hit for six. There's only one small problem, though: when it comes to taking a punch, Kamahl is a complete pussy. Read all the way to the end of his Power/Toughness line, and you'll see the bad news. One fucking point of Toughness, that's all he gets. How pathetic is that? Do you realize how many different ways there are to kill something with a one Toughness?

I can see it now. You're in there, knives drawn against some one-eyed gladiator, when you suddenly notice that this guy's about a foot taller than you and is probably going to rip your nuts off. So you spare a glance over your shoulder to check on your boy Kamahl, to make sure he's got your back. Unfortunately he's sprawled out, dead as a door nail, because some stupid dork in a beret pointed a finger at him and said "Zap!" Say goodbye to your testicles, man.

       
        Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying Kamahl sucks or anything. He won the Ultimate Pit Fighting Championship, after all. I've got to think he got into a pretty favorable bracket, though. Probably the one with Seton, Filthy Cur, and Woodland Druid. I mean, the first time he runs into something big enough to shrug off his little "three points to the dome" trick he'll be in big trouble. I can forgive the fact that he's got no way around a Beloved Chaplain, or something with Protection from his color. Kamahl's Red, after all, and in general Red can't handle any number of things. But I think maybe he could bulk up a little, maybe drink some of that creatine stuff Mark McGuire was always sucking down so he could hit lots of home runs between injuries. Even if it cost him a point or two of Power, he could at least get to where he wouldn't die from stubbing his damn toe. Is it too much to ask that one of the legendary characters the whole fucking storyline centers on be able to get around Caltrops? He must be a great war leader. "You guys run up there and start mixing it up, I'll...uh....stand back here and hurl lightning! Oh no, they're throwing spears. Run away!!!" Real inspirational there, baldy. Henry the Fifth has got nothing on you.        

* Here's some otherwise lame cards that kill Kamahl *

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